Rise Dark Girls, Rise!!!

Standard

Veronique Boubane- Miss Belgique 2008

Today I stumbled upon a trailer for a documentary, Rise Dark Girls.  ( See link Rise Dark Girls- Trailer ). It was one of the most painful things to watch, but its the reality. It highlights the colour issues that us darker skinned females have among ourselves. It ranges from the texture of our hair to the shade of our skin and the thickness of our lips. Maybe it came from society’s perception of us. Maybe its a result from the “Willie Lynch Syndrome” ( See linkThe Willie Lynch Letter)

The most poignant part of the Willie Lynch letter is this segment-

“The Black Slave, after receiving this indoctrination, shall carry on and will become self refueling and self generating for hundreds of years, maybe thousands.

You must use the dark skinned slaves vs the light skinned slaves, and the light skinned slaves vs. the dark skinned slaves. You must us the female vs. the male and the male vs. the female. You must have your servants and overseers distrust all Blacks, but it is necessary that your slaves trust and depend on us. They must love and respect and trust only us.

Gentlemen, these kits are your keys to control, use them. Have your wives and children use them. Never miss opportunity. My plan is guaranteed, and the good thing about this plan is that if used intensely for one year, the slaves themselves will remain perpetually distrustful.”

Vybz Kartel- Jamaican Dancehall Artiste

Within the video trailer, there is a little black girl and in front of her are 5 images of faces ranging from light to dark. She pointed out that the light person is smarter and prettier and the darkest person is dumb and ugly. What is disturbing about that is that the girl is a beautiful dark skinned girl. If she is saying that now, what will happen when she looks in the mirror one day and realizes that she’s dark, will she then automatically assume that she is ugly and dumb, and not be afraid to succeed in life DESPITE her skin colour? It also makes you wonder, what did her parents tell her when she was growing up? What did the little kids in the playground tell her.
In some places, sad to say, your shade of skin can give or reduce opportunities. Some countries skin bleaching is prevalent because of the lighter is right mentality that society seems to purport. Downtown Kingston Jamaica, some are alarmed to see the prevalence of persons who bleach, and also the openness at which they do it. Famous dancehall deejay Vybz Kartel who is not only known for his music, but of recent, his bleaching. He also stated recently, if white people tan to get darker, then black people can bleach to get lighter? Seems like another excuse for skin bleaching to me.

So we blame Willie Lynch, we blame society, what about the media? What is the beauty defined by the media? Is beauty defined as dark with full lips and natural hair? Or is beauty white with smooth alabaster skin and thin lips. Maybe that was then. But now, it seems as though, the image of beauty is encompassing the aspects of coloured women that were so despised.

Back then, full luscious lips were deemed ugly. Now we have women injecting themselves with collagen implants and on the market there are new lip plumping lipsticks.

Back then, big hips and butts were frowned upon. Now, we have women getting butt implants and working hard to get an extra inch of hips and ass.

Back then, lighter was righter. Now it’s a little colour goes down nicer. There are tanning salons which gives you the Jersey Shore shade of orange, and the long lasting tanning products which gives you that beach tan with an added sparkle.

All in all, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. It isn’t what society tells us, media tells us or what our parents tell us. It’s what we tell ourselves at the end of the night as you apply the night cream on your skin. I am beautiful. When you tell yourself that you are beautiful, you will tell someone else, that they are beautiful.

Lets erase the beauty stereotypes. May the beauty revolution begin.

Peace and Love
FabThickie – xoxo

Alek Wek- Supermodel




Advertisements

Sacrifices- Make them count!

Standard

When I was young the family car got stolen. It was a yellow Toyota station wagon that my grandfather used to drive. That day he went to the Central Market, and came back from the market with goods but no car. I was upset, and I asked him

“Grampa why don’t you call the police and get the car back?”

“Well granddaughter, the car needed fixing, and that would cost money to repair. Whoever stole the car saving me from that burden and to besides, that car money could go elsewhere.

“What you mean grampa?”

“Cars need gas, and servicing and tyres and I could spoil my grandchild with that money.”

I never understood what he meant at that time. Maybe I was too young to understand, but some years later when I turned 17 I asked again.

“Grampa can we get a car now”
“No grand daughter, It’s not a priority and its too expensive”

I even asked my mother, but my persuasive methods never moved her 😦

Maybe my grandfather has a second sight, because as luck would have it, 3 years of university fees came up to the price of a brand new showroom quality car. Granted, even though I still walk, and I travel, my degree is my car. But its the “car” that no one can take away from me.

Recently I was working with my father, and one of his constituents had a problem with landslips affecting her home. I paid her a visit. In her yard were 4 cars.  Four nissan cars, B14’s and B14’s with chrome rims and customised paint jobs. The kinda of paint job where it’s all pearly and glittery and two-toned. I must say the cars looked great. The woman then said to me,

“Dat paint job dey cost 10 grand, ah did it last week”

So she takes me inside her house. It was simple and modest. I counted 3 bedrooms, kitchen, dining and living area, but there was no bathroom. We reached the back door and she showed me the landslip. As I was about to step into the yard she shouts.

“Doh walk dey, dais where we does throw we waste an ting, we doh really have a bathroom nah”

I was shocked. They spent 10 thousand dollars on a paint job, but still couldn’t find the money to get some decent plumbing, or a toilet, or even self a latrine? Is having a the best customized car so mandatory to one’s existence that basic sanitary necessities are non existant?

Then I remembered the conversations I had with my grandfather and I realized that he made a sacrifice. He sacrificed his car and relative convenience for more cash in his pocket. Through his sacrifices and my mothers as well, I was able to go to university and get my degree so that one day I will be able to rake that high paying job where I would be able to buy my car through the sweat of my brow.

Seriously though, there is a thin line between sacrifice and stupidity. We make sacrifices now so we could benefit from them in the future. A question to ask yourself when you reach a point where you have to make a sacrifice, ” Will it help me in the future?” How can it benefit me” If you can’t answer any of those questions then you should rethink your decision.

So folks, choose wisely. Think about the sacrifices you want to make in your life and how it can benefit you best in the future.

Love
FT:) xoxo

Good Morning!

Standard

When I was a little girl, one of the lessons my mother taught me was saying good day, good morning, good afternoon, good night to everyone that you pass by. It is only today I realized how significant a greeting is.

This afternoon while waiting for a taxi I saw a woman and her daughter. The child could have been about 4 or 5 years old and she reminded me a lot about myself because I was quite chatty that age. That little girl was waving to everyone and shouting good afternoon, she even extended her greeting to me and I must admit, I really felt special. Heading towards us was the neighbourhood piper and the neighbourhood lawnmower man. Of course the little girl greets them excitedly… and they responded in kind making small talk. What hurt me was when the mother of the child said,

“ You musn’t say good day to dem kinda peoples. Dem is pipers an ting. Good day an ting is for nice people like de lady dere!” and points at me.

I felt upset. How could a parent teach her child that? At the end of the day, a person is a person. Circumstances make people who they are, right? Before the lawnmower-man was the lawnmower-man, he was a bank teller who gave up his job to go into the “landscaping business” but became a victim of alcohol abuse. The neighbourhood piper, also does small jobs around the neighbourhood and granted he’s an alcoholic and drug user- he still is someone, to somebody.

Back when I was a child, I said good morning because it was common courtesy. To this day I still do it because I have the image of my mother hitting me a hard clout when I didn’t do it. To be on the receiving end of courteous comments and behaviours you have to look a certain way, act a certain way, in some cases, be of a certain class. We do it when we see a vagrant or an unsavoury character, we ignore them because our minds have been programmed to do so based on their general appearance.

So today, say good morning. When you say good morning, say it from the heart as though you really wish that the person has a good morning and return the compliment. You never know how a greeting can brighten up someone’s day. It sure did brighten mine 🙂

Battle of the Bulge

Standard

Every year I come up with a resolution. Every year I tell myself that I am going to be smaller in size than I was the year before, but the opposite happens. Maybe next year I should just tell myself the opposite. It’s not that I don’t like how I look. I just feel the need to be healthier than I am in my present state. As much as I hate going to doctors for regular check- ups and they say, “for your size you are pretty healthy,” its only a matter of time before my luck will run out. What irks me to the highest degree is how easy it is to gain weight, yet just to lose one pound is like a full scale war, however the journey to good health is a mandatory battle. Through me trying to lose weight I’ve come across a series of rather interesting things.

  1.  When you start a heavy gym regime, most times you gain weight at first. This is because the fat is being converted to muscle. Muscle weighs heavier than fat, and will burn more fat as you keep on exercising. So don’t get dismayed when you see a couple extra pounds in the beginning.
  2. Diet and exercise  both go hand in hand… don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
  3. Weight training burns more calories than cardio exercises.
  4. Heart rate monitors are wonderful gadgets to invest in. You get maximum weight loss when your heart rate is at a certain zone. However it is not advised that you stay in that zone for an extended period of time.
  5. Fat Burners- rather scary things (I find). They make your heart race to boost your metabolism so you can lose weight faster. To me, that sounds like torture. I rather run and run out of breath in the process.
  6. Try to have a gym buddy, who is a very good conversationalist.  It makes the torture much easier.
  7. Salt helps with muscle cramps.
  8. The statement no pain, no gain is really true. Muscles do tear a bit with weight training (pain) and when they repair, the get stronger (gain) so you are able to push yourself more (bigger gain)

Honestly though, in order to win the battle of the bulge, you have to want to get rid of the bulge. Set realistic goals for yourself and you’d be amazed at the results once you stick to it.

🙂
FabulousThickie

Fabulous Thickie

Standard

ABOUT ME

I’m a big girl with rather eclectic tastes. I doubt that will ever change. The idea of being slim, or skinny does not appeal to me, however I love the idea of being healthy. Since I was a young girl it seemed that slim figures were considered beautiful. It took a while for me to realize that beauty is skin deep.

I don’t consider myself plus sized really. The question is, what defines plus size? Do you have to be a over size 10? What defines a “normal” size? I’m sure if I go into a crowd and randomly choose 10 women they won’t be a size 2. It’s about time we accept ourselves for who we are and not what society says we should be.

I am REAL sized. I am FABULOUS and I am THICK… and I am beautiful. Welcome to my blog :-))